The Mighty Bison Goes On Vacation
by huey61
Summary: Umm...actually, the title pretty much says it all. Follow everyone's favorite super-villain as he bumbles his way in an attempt to relieve his potentially dangerous stress. Rated T for violence and because bad people like to say bad words. Please R&R.
1. Foreword

**Foreword**

Yes, the comedy story has a foreword. Don't judge me. This foreword is here to offer some **background information on this fiction so as to provide a smooth entry into the reading.**

First and foremost, this is by far the largest fan fiction project I have ever undertaken. Its much bigger than anything I've made before. People familiar with my writing (all ten of you) know that I have a tendency to make pathetically short chapters. After lots of practice, this is no longer the case, and this story exists to prove that.

For those of you who have made the jump over from my Troopers fanfic, I apologize for not updating the story in so long. I learned a valuable lesson about my work ethic and how far along a story needs to be before I start uploading it. That is why for this story I have already written several chapters up, so that I can upload them periodically and give people the updates while still affording for the large gaps of time where I don't feel like writing.

Originally I had a more complicated system going for the times I was going to upload new chapters, but ultimately I have settled on a simpler solution to the problem. **The speed of my updates will be directly proportional to the number of reviews people leave me.** I consider myself to be very meticulous when it comes to grammar, plot, etc. etc., so I put a lot of hard work into every chapter that I write. I will not upload anything until I have read through it at least a half dozen times and corrected it to where it is just perfect. And after I put in so much hard work, it is important to me that my ego be fed. Otherwise I get to feeling like I wasted my effort. Its also essential to me as a writer that my work be praised and criticized, so that I know how to improve.

There is no exact number of reviews that I want, but a good number to shoot for in the first couple of chapters is "a lot". After that I may set down a specific number. Also, **it's important to note that one person leaving me thirty reviews will not count**. And no anonymous sock puppets! I expect honesty out of you people. Which is probably a mistake on the internet.

A final note about technical details before I begin setting down the _Dramatis personæ _and establishing which Street Fighter universe this takes place in. My other fic, "_The Bug War_", isn't dead, it's just on hiatus until something happens that pokes that particular muse again.

*** (These symbols indicate scene change)

Any fans of the Street Fighter series know that there are about twelve different universes for how things happen. This particular story takes place in a mixed Universe between Udon's latest comic series and the game _Street Fighter IV. _The timeline is post Seth's destruction.

_**Dramatis personæ **_

(There will be sub notes every chapter new characters appear. This is for the first chapter)

**The Mighty Bison** - The greatly feared leader of the Shadaloo terrorist organization and only known user of the mysterious and deadly psycho power. M. Bison is an egotistical maniac who has his sights set on nothing short of world domination. He also likes to smile a lot. He is the main character of this story. According to his Wikipedia article, the "M" in "M. Bison" has a meaning that is unknown, however, in _Street Fighter IV _he can be clearly heard saying "Now, face the Mighty Bison", which I have adopted as part of his actual name.

**Vega **- Bison's second in command, Vega is a ninja who is also a matador. Yes, that is correct. He is extremely beautiful and knows it, his looks being a very dangerous thing to portray negatively in any way. To protect his face, Vega will wear a mask in battle, in addition to a punching dagger which he uses to bleed his opponents to death.

**Balrog** - An American boxer banned from the legitimate fighting circuit, Balrog is primarily part of Shadaloo because of his greed for money. He wears his boxing gloves everywhere he goes. Everywhere.

**Juni - **A young German girl brainwashed into one of Bison's Dolls, the elite bodyguard squad of beautiful young women that also serve as spec-ops soldiers, Juni is one of Bison's favorite subordinates, if only because of her looks.

**Cammy** - A former Bison doll who was actually created out of Bison's DNA as a replacement (which raises the question as to why a female clone of an Asian man has blonde hair and blue eyes), "Killer Bee" was freed of her brainwashing and adopted the name of Cammy White. She is a member of the elite British special ops squad, Delta Red, which is part of the larger organization of MI-6.

***

I do not own any of these characters. The subjects of this story are all property of CAPCOM.

AAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD...go!


	2. Chapter the First

**The Mighty Bison Goes on Vacation**

***}~~~{***

**Chapter the First: Incident at Shadaloo**

M. Bison stared at Shadaloo's top psychologist, incredulous as to what he had just heard.

"I apologize Doctor. This body was cracked from the tube… slightly before it was ripe enough, so to speak, and it's possible that my hearing was damaged in the process. Now," Bison leaned forward in a very intimidating manner, and spread his lips wide in one of his trademark grins, "would you care to run that by me one more time?"

The Doctor, some Ivy league grad that had failed to pay for a lavish lifestyle and ended up in some serious debt, debt which Shadaloo had been willing to pay off in return for the man's services, looked pale and ready to faint. Choking slightly, he spoke,

"I said, Sir, that the strain of running this organization is causing you to be at an unhealthy level of stress, and that it would be a wise decision for you to take a break, maybe a…vac…a…tion…?

The man trickled off at the end of his sentence, withering away under the glare of the red uniformed egomaniac.

Bison relinquished his glare, "That's what I thought you said."

The General leaned back in his comfy leather chair, and seemed to be admiring the details of the psyche office of Shadaloo's newest headquarters. Though he appeared to be absent mindedly looking about the room, Bison's mighty intellect was busy pondering a new and pressing query: what would be the consequences of killing his newest psychologist?

It's important to note that the man was the sixteenth in a string of shrinks who had worked for Shadaloo, a job which, frankly, had a higher casualty rate than that of any foot soldier for the organization.

Bison considered himself to be smarter than the average would-be world ruler, and was well aware that although he was hands-down the most powerful being on the planet, he still needed an army of special operatives, scientists, and technicians to achieve his goals of world domination. To that end, he had always made sure that his underlings were provided with enough perks to garner their loyalty. Free healthcare, free dental, and free psychological care, should they so desire.

The problem with the latter service, however, was the fact that Shadaloo is an organization filled entirely with people of… alternative mental states…and people who, as per their alternative mental states, tended to… react very poorly when confronted with certain facts about their mental faculties.

For example, Vega had already slain two of psyches, both for "being insensitive towards his beauty" as he had worded. Balrog had killed another one when the Doctor had suggested that the boxer spend less time with his gloves on. And Bison? Well, he certainly hadn't killed the rest of them. Just most of them.

However, replacement psychologists were becoming harder and harder to come by. Sure, there was an endless stream of know-nothings out there, but Bison was beginning to believe that the man he was now looking at was the last high quality professional that Shadaloo could actually get to volunteer for work.

In the end, Bison decided to spare the man's life, and let him off with a simple warning,

"Hear me, and hear me well, Doctor. The Mighty Bison does not take vacations. He never has and he never will. And if you have the gall to suggest something like that to me again, I will peel you like a potato and use your skin to make a fine leather chair, just like Dr. Jorgen and Dr. Shinegami here."

He rubbed the arm of the chair to add effect to the statement.

"Now if you will excuse me, I have an operation beginning in a half hour that I must oversee."

Bison stood from the chair, which the Doctor was staring at with abject horror, and left the room. Once outside, he was surprised to see Vega leaning against the wall, waiting for his 2:00 appointment. Vega acknowledged Bison with a slight nod and then spoke with his velvety Spanish accent,

"You didn't kill this one as well, did you General?"

Bison smiled and responded, "No, but I did convince him that the furniture was made from the flesh of incompetents."

Vega scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous. Human flesh makes terrible leather. Believe me, I've tried."

They both roared with laughter, and then Bison walked down the hallway to the elevator and from there to the control room.

When Bison entered the control room, all of his subordinates stood and saluted.

The General surveyed them, and then approached his throne which stood elevated from the control panels and computer terminals that all of his underlings worked at.

Bison nodded and bid them seat with a wave of his hand. Then he said,

"Has Agent Juni reported in yet?"

One of his technicians turned around from his console to acknowledge the leader's question,

"We're just getting her signal now sir."

Up on the big screen, there was flickering and static before the face of a beautiful young woman with dark orange hair appeared.

"Agent Juni reporting in, Sir."

"Ah, excellent. Agent Juni, are you ready to begin the operation?"

The woman nodded, "The equipment is ready and I am nearly in position, Sir."

Bison smiled, "Very well then. Proceed."

Shadaloo was a very big and very expensive organization. It required large amounts of capital in order to operate at full capacity. To achieve those funds, M. Bison had developed a relatively simple but nonetheless brilliant "business plan" as he called it. Two or three front men for the Shadaloo operation would separately purchase large quantities of stock with a company competing for a top position in a certain field. Then Shadaloo would sabotage the top corporation, leading to a power shift that made Shadaloo's previously cheap stocks worth a fortune. Shadaloo would then sell the stock, and use the reaped capital to buy weapons, pay employees, hire psychologists…

Bison felt his brow twitch, but the feeling of discontent quickly passed.

Agent Juni was in position to begin the espionage part of the operation, in this case, blow up a cell phone production factory and make it look like it was an industrial accident. Shadaloo would receive its needed funds, and neither Interpol nor any other authority would be any wiser as to what had truly happened.

Bison watched as Juni deftly flipped over the cheap fence surrounding the complex, snuck past a couple of rentacops and entered the building through an open window on the bottom floor.

Bison leaned back in his command chair, chuckling to himself.

"All too easy."

"Uhhh…Sir? There appears to be a problem."

"What!?" Bison snapped at the underling.

The man cringed, "Look at the screen General."

Bison did as the man suggested. The outside of the factory had appeared normal enough, but the inside was devoid of any kind of machinery or equipment… in fact, the building appeared to be completely empty!

"Wha…Juni, it's a trap! Abort the mission now!" Bison screamed at the giant screen.

Juni was slightly more composed than her master.

"Aborting mission, Sir."

Suddenly, bright lights hit the woman from all sides, and the sound of shattering glass could be heard. Rappelling out of the light, several green camo clad individuals with red berets could be seen.

One of the technicians shouted "General! It's MI-6! Someone must have tipped them off!"

Bison's neck and face contorted hideously as the man yelled at the screen,

"Juni! Get out of there now!"

Onscreen, Juni darted for the window that she had used to enter the building. Suddenly, one of the MI-6 separated from the others, jumping towards the window and executing a deft flip to land in front of it, facing Juni.

"I don't think so! You're coming with us!"

Bison looked at the blonde woman, and then in a seething voice said,

"Killer Bee… you never cease to prove yourself to be almost more trouble than you are worth."

Back at the factory, "Killer Bee", or Cammy as she now called herself, launched herself with a cry at Juni, throwing a sweeping kick at the Bison Doll's legs. Juni leapt over the attack, and the two began sparring while other members of the British Spec-Ops squad closed in.

Bison turned to his communications officer.

"Tell the pick-up chopper and its escorts to approach that factory and raze it to the ground."

"Sir, with Agent Juni still inside?"

Bison leapt from his elevated position to where the infidel stood. Grabbing the man by his throat, Bison quickly snapped his neck and tossed his body away. The still warm corpse flew across the room and landed at some unfortunate woman's desk. The woman screamed.

The dead body of her coworker had knocked over a cup of hot coffee into her lap, giving her an unpleasant startle.

All of this went unnoticed by Bison, who was busy pouring his rage into a tiny microphone, ordering the circling air group to pulverize the factory into dust. Bison was quite confident that Juni could escape the factory before it was completely destroyed, but in the event that she wasn't so capable, at least his enemies would not get their hands on another one of his Dolls.

Cammy and Juni continued to battle, totally ignorant at the situation at Shadaloo headquarters. Cammy threw a punch, which Juni caught and used to swing Cammy over her shoulder in a throw that would have made a Judo master soil himself. Juni wasted no time in back flipping out the open window, and blowing past several soldiers that surrounded the building, leaving many injured in her wake.

Inside the building, a powerfully built blonde soldier shouted for them to pursue.

"There is an issue with that, Colonel."

"What is it, Ginzu?"

The diminutive techie clacked away at his laptop.

"We have an enemy air strike, coming in quick!"

Colonel Wolfman shouted: "What?! Evacuate the building, now!"

The whole squad snapped to action, throwing themselves at various exits. Cammy quickly recovered from being thrown and practically hurled Ginzu out before leaping through a fire exit, just as the building began to receive the first hits of rocket fire from a pair of circling gunships. In a matter of seconds, the building was a smoldering ruin, and Cammy turned to see the helicopters fleeing, presumably with their target on board.

"Damn! She got away."

The Colonel walked up to her.

"Don't be so downtrodden, Cammy. Juni may have escaped, but at least we're on to Shadaloo's money operation now. We'll be able to keep a sharp eye out for any mischief, and it looks like Bison is going to have to figure out another way to fund his terrorism."

Colonel Wolfman clapped his hands together and smiled, "Now then, lets get back to base so that Lt. McCoy can cook as up a delicious meal."

A loud cheer erupted from the members of Delta Red.

***

Back at Shadaloo headquarters, the mood was quite different, to say the least.

Bison had slaughtered half of his technicians, and was very close to killing the other half when Vega entered onto the scene.

"My goodness! I take it that things didn't go according to plan."

Bison walked away from a fresh corpse and fell heavily into his chair.

"Don't test my patience Vega. From what we've managed to put together, I've concluded that one of our front men decided that he'd had enough of Shadaloo and tipped off Interpol."

Somewhere, Bison heard a dripping sound. The slow, steady trickle irked him, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Now we have to hunt down this informant and kill him before he blabbers away any more of our secrets."

_ Drip… drip… drip… _Bison furrowed his brow and concentrated. Vega listened intently.

"And not only that, but we must suspend all of our financial operations as well."

_ Drip… drip… drip…_

Bison sighed, "We may even have to come up with a new method of funding Shadaloo entirely."

_ Drip… drip… drip…_

Vega spoke, "Sounds like you could use a vacation."

_ Drip… drip… drip…_

Bison turned in his chair, eerily slow.

"What was that?"

Vega chuckled, "I said that it sounds like you could use a vacation."

_ Drip… drip… drip…_

Bison stood suddenly and yelled,

"Heaven and hell what is that infernal dripping sound!"

Vega started, "Oh! Excuse me, sir."

Taking a cloth out of his pocket, Vega began to wipe down his claws, which Bison just now saw were dripping with blood. Suddenly, the General felt something that he didn't normally feel; dread.

"Vega…who's blood is that?"

"Hmm? Oh, this belonged to that ugly little psychologist," Vega stuck up his chin, and spoke with a haughty voice, "he was insensitive towards my beauty."

Bison was silent. Staring off into space, he seemed to have entered a catatonic state. The silence lasted a great period of time, and Vega began to grow concerned.

"…my Lord?"

"RAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

With a mighty explosion of purple Psycho Power, Bison sent a shockwave that knocked Vega over and rattled the Shadaloo base to the very core. Turning around, Bison ripped his chair, which was bolted to the floor, out of its hinges and hurled it with all his strength through the ceiling. The flying furniture punched through the steel reinforced ceiling, several upper floors of the headquarters, a few stories worth of soil, and high into the sky where it eventually entered earth's orbit and destroyed a satellite.

Klaxons blared in the control room, and a message popped up on the big screen, alerting Shadaloo that one of its satellites had been destroyed.


	3. Chapter the Second

Wow. So, one review then? I guess people don't bother reading forewords . I was hoping for five or six reviews before I had to update. This is the only time I'm updating with so few reviews, because I'm hoping that showing some more activity will generate more reviews. Thanks to Ultimolu for the only review.

**Chapter the Second: Preparation**

Bison stared at the cacophony of colors, mortified by the brightness of the mixed tones and hues. The purple, orange, green, and pink shades mocked him, taunting him with their cheerful frilliness. The Shadaloo leader's silent suffering was interrupted by a knock at the door. The General hesitated, before saying with an unsure tone,

"You may enter."

The door opened and Vega's unmasked face poked through. The matador entered the room, carrying a small case and a manila envelope.

"Ah. I see that the Hawaiian shirt I selected fits you."

Bison huffed his response, "Vega, why must I where this infernal rag! It appears as though I tripped and fell on a miniature gay pride parade!"

Vega chuckled, "Now, now, don't say that Bison. That's what people wear when they go on vacation. How are your khaki shorts?"

Bison pulled on the tan shorts that had replaced his usual red pants, "They fit fine. And if the shirt isn't so bad, how come I never see you wearing ones like it?"

Vega was appalled, "Are you mad? I would never mar my beauty with something like that! Besides, I'm not the one going on a vacation."

Bison turned away from the mirror to face his subordinate, "That reminds me. How exactly do you plan to send me out into a vigilant public without the…`proper authorities'… being notified that the most wanted man on the planet is wandering in their midst?"

The Spanish ninja smiled, and waved the packages he had in his hands.

"The answer lies in here. I was very careful to develop a plan that would minimize the risk of exposure. Here,"

Vega held up the envelope and gave it a wave.

"This folder contains tickets for a South Pacific cruise, as well as-"

Bison cut him off.

"A cruise Vega? As in on a cruise ship?"

Vega seemed vexed at the interruption.

"Yes, General, a cruise. So as to lower the number of people that you encounter during your trip. That will minimize the chances of you running into someone who can recognize and report you."

"I see. Well thought out Vega." There was a pause, "But won't I get bored being trapped on a ship for a week?"

Vega nodded, as if expecting this response, "There is a pamphlet in here with a list of activates. I was very careful to select a ship with a program that would…interest you, sufficiently."

Bison's curiosity was peaked. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

"Oh?"

Vega was pleased that he had now successfully garnered his boss's interest.

"Indeed. The highlight of the trip is a fight, staged on the stern of the ship, between the Red Cyclone, that Russian fellow, Zangief, against a very popular wrestler by the name of Rainbow Mika. It's their third fight against one another, I believe."

Bison's enthusiasm instantly deflated itself, and he spoke harshly,

"You know such displays of weakness bore me Vega."

Vega, undaunted, responded, "Well you know, General, sometimes vacations are supposed to be a little boring, that's what makes them truly relaxing. We aren't doing this to get you hyped up, remember? This is to calm you down, allow you to release some stress so we don't have another…incident."

Vega was still sore from where he'd been thrown against the metal wall.

Bison thought silently to himself, pondering the accuracy of his underling's statement. Perhaps it would do him some good to suffer a little boredom…

Vega cleared his throat politely, and Bison broke his thoughts to resume their conversation.

"I have also prepared a disguise for you. Nothing too fancy, just enough to trip up whatever the Liner hires for security. It should also keep you safe from the other passengers."

Bison scoffed at the idea of needing to be kept "safe" from anything, but he was interested to see what Vega had done.

Bison motioned for Vega to hand him the envelope, and when he received it, he immediately opened it up and pulled out a fake passport. Bison flipped the tiny booklet open and read the first few words, located next to an altered portrait of his face.

The General nearly choked when he read his name.

"Michelle Buffalo? MICHELLE!?"

Vega was perturbed.

"It is pronounced, `Me-chelle,'" and it is a perfectly normal male name.

"For God's sake Vega, why couldn't you give me a name like `Mike', or `Mitch', hell, I would have even preferred `Melvin'."

Vega blew a lock of hair that had drooped in front of his impeccable facial features.

"Stop complaining. Here," Vega handed Bison the small black container, "this is the finishing touch to your disguise."

The Mighty Bison, or "Michelle Buffalo", as he was now known, opened the container and stared at the contents within. Two tiny brown disks, each with a black center, stared back.

"Contacts?"

"Indeed. We can't have you strolling around in your pupiless state. People would become suspicious. They were custom made by an optometrist in Zurich, and they will not affect your vision."

Bison nodded, and set the container aside after removing the contacts. Putting one on the tip of his finger, he slowly brought it up to his eye.

***

Balrog stomped down the hallway of the underground base, fuming.

The boxer was pissed off that he had been recalled from his tour with an underground fight ring in the Southwestern U.S. to the Shadaloo headquarters to handle "an important affair", as Vega had put it.

Still, annoyed as he was, he couldn't help but wonder what it was that required his assistance. Suddenly, a great yell rose up from one of the rooms connected to the hallway, and Balrog saw that it was M. Bison's personal quarters.

The fighter beat his gloves (which never left his hands, even when he slept) together, and charged down the remaining length of the corridor and burst into the room.

"Who's looking for an ass-whuppin'!"

Balrog's threat was answered when a flying Spaniard struck him in the torso, throwing both people out into the hallway with a great crash.

"Whu…Vega?"

Vega groaned a hello, and Balrog looked up to see something that would mentally scar him for the rest of his life.

M. Bison, wearing a hideous multi colored Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, face contorted into a hideous glare, one eye swollen and red with a brown pupil, the other white as a corpse.

For some reason, the normally callous Balrog was struck silent with horror, instead of making a smart comment about an outfit that under any other circumstance would have caused him to fall to his knees laughing.

Finally finding his tongue, Balrog shouted,

"Just what the fuck is going on here!?".

*******

"So. General Bison is going on vacation. Never thought I'd see the day."

"Silence Balrog. Or I will introduce you to the wall opposite my quarters."

The General's eye had stopped swelling, and Vega had shown Bison the proper method of putting his contacts in.

Bison blinked rapidly, adjusting to the feel of the tiny transparent disks on his eyes. Turning to Vega, he said,

"How do I look?"

The Spanish Ninja gave Bison's face a scrutinizing look.

"Ahh... why don't you ask Balrog?"

Bison grunted. _The arrogant fool thinks he's being tactful_.

The General turned to the boxer.

"Well Balrog, can you see through my disguise?"

Balrog stared his master in the face, before grunting and giving an odd sort of thumbs-up with his gloves.

Bison crossed his arms and nodded. Before the General could further the conversation, there was a knock at the door. Bison smiled and said,

"Ah. That must be Juni, safely returned from that debacle. You may enter!"

The door opened and the Bison Doll stepped in, looking slightly disheveled but nonetheless very attractive in her blue uniform. She snapped out a salute.

"Agent Juni reporting as ordered sir!"

"Juni, have the quartermaster prepare you some spare clothes. You and I are going on a little trip."

Vega's eyes went wide and he leapt up from where he was sitting. He spoke delicately

"Ah, General…"

Bison frowned and acknowledged his lieutenant with a concerned tone.

"Yes Vega, what is it?"

"I only purchased one ticket…"

The General was enraged,

"Vega you fool! Did you seriously not think that I would be bringing one of my Dolls with me? I demand that you rectify this at once!"

Vega was not flattered by Bison's insult.

"As a matter of fact General, I did expect you to want to bring one of your Dolls with you. But it wouldn't be a good idea."

The General smashed a cabinet.

"WHY NOT!"

Vega moved away from Bison, fearful of being thrown against the wall for a third time.

"First off, in order for this little trip of yours to have its effect, you need to be removed as far from Shadaloo affairs as possible. Second off, your Dolls don't…uh…have the social skills necessary to a prolonged under cover assignment. Especially if people start asking a lot of questions."

Bison's rage had tempered itself slightly and curiosity had filled the void.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Well sir…to be frank, your Dolls have the personalities of stop signs."

Bison was visibly taken aback. Balrog laughed loudly. Juni…just sort of…stared off into space. Bison crossed his arms,

"What are you talking about Vega? Juni has done under cover work before. She's perfect for the job!"

Vega shook his head. "No sir, she's not. Here, give her a roll to fill. Any roll. A random personality, some background, make it thorough."

Bison scoffed. "Very well then Vega, I'll humble your little experiment. Just to prove to you that you're wrong. Juni, come here."

The Shadaloo agent approached her superior officer, who began to whisper into her ears for roughly a period of two minutes. Vega waited somewhat impatiently, tapping his foot and leaning against the wall. Juni occasionally scrunched up her face, trying to process what was going on.

Eventually Bison finished, and Vega and Juni approached each other. A peculiar sort of interrogation began.

"Hello miss, what is your name?"

"My name is Sarah Buffalo, Commander Vega."

Vega smacked himself and Bison shifted uncomfortably.

"No no no, pretend I'm someone else."

"Uh…very well then sir."

"Good. Let's start again."

"Hello there miss, what's your name?"

"My name is Sarah Buffalo."

"My, what a lovely name. Where are you from Sarah?"

"I was born and raised in Germany, but when I married my husband I moved with him to Thailand."

"Oh, Thailand, very nice. Very beautiful beaches. Not to sure about the political situation though. What's your take on that whole Shadaloo organization?"

"Shadaloo seeks to make the world a better place by placing all of the nations of earth under the control of the benevolent dictator General Bison!"

Vega smiled. Balrog laughed loudly. Bison swore under his breath.

"I see. That's very interesting. What part of Thailand do you live in?"

"Bangkok."

"Very nice, very nice. Is it a good place to raise kids?"

"Uh…kids?"

"Yes, those small little ugly things that run around and scream loudly."

"Um…yes?"

Vega feigned surprise. Balrog laughed loudly. Bison swore again.

"Really? Even though the city is famous for its Red Light District?"

"Uhh…"

Juni looked helpless. She turned to Bison.

"What do I say General?"

Bison slowly drew his hands down his face.

"Nothing Juni, just, say nothing."

He turned to Vega.

"Alright, you've made your point Vega. But what am I supposed to do when I…desire some female companionship."

Vega chuckled to himself. "Well, General, you are an…individual of adequate looks," Bison noted that was quite a compliment coming from Vega, "my advice would be for you to do it the old fashioned way."

Bison reflected on this information silently to himself. The old fashioned way? It had been some time.

The Shadaloo leader scratched his chin and spoke, "Perhaps I should see if I'm still as charming as I was in my younger years."

Bison continued thinking to himself. Vega smiled. Balrog chortled. Juni stared off into space.


	4. Chapter the Third

Alright, five new reviews for Chapter Two. That's a lot better! Thank you to Ultimolu, Somniyo, JACK NAIPER, Francys Pai, and Chaos Hero Mark for your reviews. If you have already left a review, then feel free to do so again. If you haven't then I strongly encourage you to leave me a review.

Some background for this chapter. Originally, I had it combined with what is now Chapter the Fourth because of length issues, however, the ending of this chapter was just too good for me to leave in the middle of a larger piece. So I added a scene to give it more length so that I could have my cliffhanger. That is all, enjoy the show!

**Chapter the Third: Boarding the Ship and the New Challengers.**

The nondescript, black luxury vehicle quietly puttered its way into the bay district of Yokohama, Japan. Looking at his passengers in the mirror, the driver coughed politely, interrupting the conversation in the back before saying,

"We're about two minutes from the dock, sirs."

Bison, still in his vacation garb, casually waved his hand,

"Yes, thank you. Now Vega, as I was saying, I want you to remember to make a thorough investigation of our possible snitches before ordering any hits. Surveillance, and so forth, you know. And remember, it's possible that we had more than one… I fail to see what's so amusing."

Vega had been chuckling, "Look, General, Balrog and I will take care of everything. I'm a ninja, for Christ's sake, I know how to deal with assassinations and espionage. You need to stop worrying about Shadaloo affairs, enjoy yourself. Otherwise the entire purpose of this little ordeal is defeated."

"Yes, but-"

"General!" Vega shouted, clasping his hands on the commander's shoulders, "just, relax…"

Bison inhaled deeply, and closed his eyes. _Yes, I must relax. I am no good to Shadaloo as a nervous wreck._

Again the driver interrupted with a polite cough,

"Sirs, we have arrived at the Akusai docks. Shall I fetch your bags?"

Bison spoke, "No, no, I'll get them." Bison turned to face Vega. His tone was dark as he spoke,

"If, upon my return, things are not to my liking, there will be consequences, Vega, great consequences."

The matador smirked, "Everything will be fine, my lord."

"This little plan of yours had better work."

"Hmph. Enjoy yourself, General. I will see you again in a week."

Bison opened the door and stepped out into the cool coastal air. A light morning fog had built up in the harbor, slightly obscuring the Landmark Tower and totally blanketing any eyesight of Japan's iconic Mt. Fuji. A small flock of seagulls flew overhead, clucking in voices that irked the warlord.

The General inhaled deeply, smelling the salty air of the ocean, before looking around and getting his bearings. The check-in station was not difficult to find, and Bison could see that a large crowd of people with luggage were already gathered around it. He popped the trunk of the car, removed a single duffel bag, and gave a short wave as the vehicle drove away from the curb and disappeared around a corner.

Bison looked at the chattering crowd, heaved a sigh, and made his way towards the group, taking a place in line behind a middle aged American couple. The General squinted his eyes in disgust; he had believed his shirt to be a true catastrophe of fashion, but the man and woman in front of him were dressed in the most garish tourist outfits that the terrorist leader had ever seen.

The queue moved forward, and everybody in line slowly crawled toward one of three consoles where uniformed cruise workers were registering guests. Bison, who last recalled having to wait in any form of line approximately 20 years ago, found the entire experience to be slightly annoying. Here was the most powerful man in the world, shuffling along with a bunch of ignorant plebeians!

Bison mumbled to himself, "When I am ruler, all lines will be done away with. If I see a line in the Shadaloo state, it will only be if there is a firing squad involved."

The American man turned around and spoke with a thick Midwestern accent, "What was that buddy? I didn't quite catch you there."

Bison was taken aback. Was this commoner speaking to him? General Bison couldn't remember the last time he had engaged in a casual conversation with anyone outside of Vega. And he certainly couldn't ever recall being referred to as "buddy". The General realized he must have seemed odd staring off into space, so he offered a simple response, ignoring his reflex to admonish/smash the man for being so disrespectful towards him.

"Oh, it was nothing. I was merely complaining about the line."

The man gave an obnoxious, barking laugh that made Bison twitch slightly.

"You think this is bad buddy? You should have been to Disney World with Carol and me here. Some of those things lasted up to several hours! Yep, me an' Carol have been touring the whole world, first thing we set out to do as soon as we got the kids out of the house. Stood in lines from every to Sydney to London to Beij-"

The woman, Carol, interrupted her husband by smacking him on the shoulder. Bison used the pause to look for something to smash his cranium against.

"Bob, honey, don't brag about those lines like you've been in the wars! Those are hours of my life I'll never get back. Besides, I'm sure you must be boring Mr…?"

She leaned towards Bison with an inquisitive look. Bison offered a polite smile, secretly hiding his annoyance, and answered, "Buffalo, Mrs."

"Oh my, what a neat coincidence! Bob and I are from Buffalo." She leaned forward and spoke in a quiet tone, as if conceding some dark secret, "The one in Wisconsin, not New York. Goodness gracious, Bob and I would just die if we had to spend any time around those liberal New Yorkers. So much crime and corruption, you know?"

As a matter of fact, Bison did know. Shadaloo had been responsible for several vicious crimes in the Empire State, as well as most of its corruption, but it was all centered on the Manhattan area. Nonetheless, the General was not allowed to confer such information, so he played along.

"You don't say?"

Before the conversation could continue any further, the line moved forward again, and Bob and Carol began to bicker when Carol's purse spilled. Bison sighed in relief, having been freed from the evil conversation.

"Next!"

The cries of the cruise workers reminded Bison somewhat of the seagulls that had flown by earlier.

Suddenly, there was a loud commotion amongst the people in the line, and a whisper of excitement filled the pole tent that the cruise line had set up as a check in station.

A white limousine had pulled up next to where the line stood. Bison noted that the rear end of the limo sagged dangerously low, as though something very heavy was loaded into the back.

The limo sat in place for a few moments, and then the door opened, revealing a dark interior. Narrowing his eyes, Bison could vaguely make out the silhouette of what could only be described as a giant. A leg resembling a tree trunk (down to the hairy moss) stepped out, and a huge man emerged from the confines of the car, which popped back up from its compressed position with a loud creak as the titan moved onto the curb.

By now the other passengers were clamoring louder, _like a flock of mentally retarded parrots_, thought Bison.

Cries of "Zangief" and "The Red Cyclone" could be heard, and soon the entire queue (save a scowling Bison) was cheering loudly.

The Russian wrestler seemed surprised at this, and gave a short wave to the people, who went even crazier at the acknowledgment from the superstar.

Zangief was not wearing his trademark red spandex, instead having arrived in a getup similar to Bison's, only with a less obnoxious T-shirt that looked as though it would split at any second.

The wrestler stood on the curb with a very large suit case, seemingly unsure of what to do until a tiny man wearing an Akusai Liners uniform came running. Words were exchanged briefly; Bison could make out some sort of pandering, sucking up emerging from the small employee, before the tiny man grabbed the suit case that was bigger than he was and started for the ship. Zangief paused for a moment, and then silently lumbered off in the same direction. Bison's eyes followed the Russian as he proceeded up a ramp that led to a boarding hatch on the massive cruise ship. Zangief turned to survey the scene one last time before disappearing inside the floating luxury resort.

Soon the clamor of the patrons had died down, and eventually the shambling lines gave the impression that the interruption hadn't ever happened.

Soon it was the Commander's turn to approach one of the desks. When he arrived, the woman at the counter, who looked like she would rather be somewhere else, asked his name and to see his passport and tickets. Bison complied, stating his false name and handing over his passport.

_The moment of truth_, Bison thought silently to himself. He quietly began to charge up Psycho Power, ready to make a quick getaway if things turned sour. Part of him wished they would.

The woman stared at the passport for a few moments, and then looked up at Bison, who stared back. Closing the book, the lady handed it back to him.

"Well, Mr. Buffalo, everything checks out." She handed him a card key and stared at the computer monitor at her desk.

"It says here that you are signed up to stay in one of our luxurious suite rooms, and we here at Akusai Liners are always happy to have such _generous_ guests on board our ship."

Bison stuttered. "Yes, well, I work very hard at my, uh, job. Yes, my normal, law abiding citizen's job. Law, yes! I'm a lawyer you see, a very good, very rich personal injuries attorney! Nothing illegal or suspicious about it!"

The woman stared strangely at him.

Bison leaned forward onto the desk and spoke,

"Say, how much did I pay for my suite again anyways?"

The woman turned back to her monitor and read a number off to him. A very big number. Bison's eye twitched. The General's next words were a hot hiss emerging from clenched teeth.

"I'm going to _murder_ you Vega."

"What was that sir?"

"Uh, nothing, nothing. Uh…thank you for your service!"

And like that, Bison dashed off.

The woman at the desk wondered briefly about the strange man, before re-focusing on her job.

"Next!" she shouted.

A strange looking group of teenagers approached the station, the leader appearing slightly out of sight with her _seifuku on._

"Name?"

The girl smiled, slapped a passport on the desk, and answered with a loud voice,

"Sakura Kasugano!"

---

_**Dramatis Personae**_

**Zangief**-An insanely large and insanely strong wrestler hailing from Russia, Zangief is known worldwide by his wrestling title as "The Red Cyclone". Well versed in Wrestling and Sambo, Zangief's immense size and strength make him a dangerous opponent. However, underneath the gruff exterior of muscles and wounds inflicted by fighting bears, Zangief is a boisterous and friendly individual who many would view as a wonderful, if somewhat overbearing, companion. Zangief has been invited onto the _Akusai II_ to compete with a wrestling match with Rainbow Mika.

**Sakura Kasugano**- The details about this character will be released in chapter four (Although that doesn't really prevent you from using wikipedia, does it?)


	5. Chapter the Fourth

Before we continue with Chapter Four, I would like to thank everybody for their wonderful reviews. Keep doing that. Special thanks to aznelemants for the correction regarding forwards and forewords, and to answer your question Francys Pai, obnoxious behavior is part of life on the internet, so getting bothered by it is stupid. Also, like I said, I expect honesty out of people regarding the anonymous sockpuppets, which I really don't think is that huge of an issue anyways. Really, I just want to give lurkers a chance to comment on the story should they so desire, which, coincidentally, is **something they really desire**.

Ahem. With the completion of Chapter the Fourth, I have now caught up to my stockpile of stories. As it is school time, a schedule for me writing more chapters is rather whimsical, although I have started Chapter the Fifth. If you really want me to write faster, I suggest that you leave more reviews. Danke for your time.

**)~~^~~(**

**Chapter the Fourth: Youthful Intruders and Strawberry Daiquiris  
**

Bison charged up the boarding ramp of the massive white ship, the _Akusai II_, fuming with embarrassment at his foolishness.

"I should have known better than to not prepare at least a few details about myself. No matter, I can take care of that once I reach my…room…"

Bison was struck immediately by the luxury of the _Akusai II_ when he entered the ship. The stunning interior looked like something out of the Gilded Age. Extravagant red and gold carpet, beautiful paintings, even the architecture appeared to be gilded with gold leaf, though Bison, an expert on precious metals (and the art of acquiring them through unconventional means), could tell that it was really brass.

"My, how very impressive! Maybe I won't kill you after all Vega. This is actually quite lovely. Perhaps I should consider giving Shadaloo headquarters an overhaul!"

Bison followed the signs down the hallway from the boarding hatch to the lobby, and entered into a large, open space that was filled with people. Tropical plants adorned small gardens scattered throughout the space, and an artificial stream filled with carp trickled in a circular pattern. Small, hand carved wooden bridges crossed over the stream in several places, and at the center, there was a large bar that was busy handing out the first round of drinks to the guests.

Looking up, Bison could see that the lobby's ceiling was actually a massive series of windows that allowed light from the outside to flood the room, which, when combined with the stream and the plants, gave the impression that the facility was really outside somewhere. Eight decks worth of walkways corrugated the sides of the room, and small children peaked over the protective glass railing to get a good bird's eye view of the lobby floor.

The General found the atmosphere to be quite pleasant. Deciding to relax a bit before finding his suite, he wandered over to the bar and sat down on a stool. One of the bar tenders, a pretty young woman who appeared to be far more enthusiastic about her job than the last employee Bison had dealt with, sauntered over.

"What'll you have, mister?"

Bison scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, it's still early, so nothing too heavy…what would you suggest?

The bar tender smiled, "A strawberry daiquiri would fit the profile."

"A… strawberry daiquiri? It sounds a little…fruity."

The bar tender chuckled, "I assure you sir, it's quite tasty."

Bison, pleased at having been referred to as "sir", gave his consent with a wave of his hand.

"Very well then. Bring me one of these…strawberry daiquiris"

The General rested comfortably in his stool, muscular arms folded together on the beautiful lacquered wood of the bar, thinking to himself.

_This was not a bad idea._

He chuckled.

"Not a bad idea at all…"

***

"Come on you guys! Hurry up!"

"Sakura, slow down!"

The fighting school girl ignored the protests of her friend and older sister figure, Kei Chitose, and continued to run up the length of the ramp. Her dash was stopped dead in its tracks when her foot caught a ridge on the ramp, sending the _Karateka_ face first into the cold metal of the platform with a loud smash.

"…Owie."

Kei arrived at a more leisurely pace, and stooped down to help her friend up.

"See, that's what happens when you run on boats."

A voice from behind her spoke.

"Technically, we aren't on the boat yet."

Kei turned around to give a sharp look at the source of the smart comment, a young man with a baseball cap and a band-aid across his nose.

"Shoma, do you mind? We're having a learning moment here."

Shoma scoffed and prepared to deliver another barb, but he was beat to the punch by a young woman with dark blue hair and a red-orange jacket.

"We aren't going on a cruise to learn, Kei," she spat the word "learn" with the incredible distaste that only a high school student could muster, "we're going on this cruise to have fun!" She pumped her fist into the air to accentuate the point.

"Um, you guys, you know we still don't know how we got on this cruise in the first place."

A fifth person, another teenage girl with a white headband and wearing a backpack, had spoken up from the back of the group.

The blue haired girl turned around and gave a frown.

"Jeez Hinata, you don't have to be such a buzz kill."

Kei had hefted Sakura to her feat and dusted her off.

"Natsu, don't be so mean to Hinata. She has a good point. We don't know how we got those tickets."

Sakura interjected here.

"What do you mean? I won those tickets in a contest."

Kei snapped, "Yeah, a contest you don't remember signing up for! This whole situation is fishy if you ask me."

Shoma said, "Well, it's a good thing no one did." Kei gave an angry look, but the baseball player continued, "You guys are thinking too deeply about this. Seriously, it's not like Sakura hasn't forgotten things before. We're talking about someone who can't remember to wake up for school on time here."

"Hey! That's not fair! My alarm clock was-"

Natsu cut Sakura off, "Shoma's right you guys. You just need to accept a good thing when it comes to you and enjoy yourselves!"

"You're just sucking up to Shoma…" Kei quietly remarked to herself.

It wasn't quiet enough however, as Natsu leaned in with a scary face and said,

"What was that?"

Speaking louder, Kei said, "Oh, nothing. I was just saying that-"

"Hey! You damn kids are blocking the ramp! Get a move on!"

Kei looked back on the crowd that was gathering around the foot of the ramp and responded with a yell of her own.

"Yeah, yeah! We're going! Don't get your panties in a bunch!"

The five teens shambled up the rest of the ramp with their odd assortment of luggage (Shoma, for example, had opted to bring his baseball bag in lieu of an ordinary suitcase while Hinata had simply crammed as much as she could into her backpack).

Upon entering the starboard hatch of the _Akusai II_, the teens "ooo'd" and "ahh'd" at the lush interior, slowly making their way to the lobby, careful to stop and enjoy every sight available to them.

Kei consulted the key cards that the receptionist had assigned them.

"It says here that we're going to be in rooms 612 and 613. That must mean the sixth deck, rooms 12 and 13."

Sakura cried out, "Wait! Only two rooms? That means that two of us are going to have to…_share_…a room with _him_!"

She pointed an accusing finger at Shoma, who was ignorant of the discussion, as he had been closely admiring a painting of Aphrodite standing on a large bivalve.

The four girls wrinkled their noses in a mutual expression of disgust (Although one could have been faking it. Who knows). Shoma picked some wax from his ear and yawned, eyes never leaving the painting.

Kei spoke up, "Well. We can't have Natsu rooming with him for reasons that don't have to be explained."

Natsu scowled with rage and put her hands on her hips.

"No, Kei, by all means, please explain!"

Kei looked smug, "Well, we wouldn't want you to be tempted Natsu…"

The insulted volleyball player began rolling up the sleeves on her red jacket.

"That's it sister! I'm kicking your-"

"Hey!"

Hinata, holding a pamphlet, interrupted.

"It says here that the rooms are divided into a living room and a bedroom, with a locked door in-between. We can just set Shoma up on the couch in the living room."

"We can do what now to Shoma?"

The young man had finally torn his attention away from Aphrodite and rejoined his female friends.

Natsu looked sternly at him.

"You're rooming with me and Hinata, and you're sleeping on the couch."

"Wait, don't I get a say in this?"

The women collectively screamed "No!"

Kei was about to deliver another quip to Natsu when Sakura smacked her hard on the back.

"Come on you guys! Let's find our rooms so we can dump are stuff and go exploring! I want to have the whole ship mapped out by tomorrow morning!

Kei muttered, "You're going to have the whole fleet explored by dinner at the rate you go."

Sakura didn't hear her; she was already running down to the lobby.

***

Bison took another sip of his daiquiri.

"This. Is. DELICIOUS!" he exclaimed loudly, getting him a few annoyed and perplexed stares from other people in the lobby.

The pretty bartender spoke up,

"I'm glad you like it sir. If you give me your room card I can charge it to your tab and then you're free to head up to your room."

Bison pulled the card out of his pocket and handed it to the lady. She gripped it, but Bison didn't release it at first.

"Please charge for two daiquiris, and give me one to go. I presume I can bring the glass up to my room for the cleaning service to retrieve later?"

The Bartender nodded, "Yes you can sir. I'll just ring you up and send you off with a fresh one."

Bison released his grip on the card and leaned back on his stool. Soon he had said his thank you and was marching out of the lobby towards the elevators. Along the way he bumped past several boisterous teenagers, and the General made a mental note to force mandatory military-style schooling on the youth of the Shadaloo State.

Unbeknownst to Bison, one of the teens had turned around and was following him with her eyes. This did not go unnoticed by one of her friends.

"Sakura? Is something the matter?"

Sakura watched as the large man in the obnoxious shirt stepped into a glass windowed elevator and began to ascend.

"It's nothing Hinata. I just thought I saw someone familiar."

The elevator's inhabitants disappeared from view as the lift went higher and higher, and Sakura turned to rejoin her friends, still wary of what she had seen. She spoke quietly to herself for reassurance.

"Don't be silly Sakura. M. Bison does not take vacations."

**Dramatis Personae**

**Sakura Kasugano**- the "Fighting School Girl", Sakura hails from Japan, and you could say that she is a disciple of the same style of Shotokan Karate that Ryu and Ken use, albeit with her own unique spin. Sakura is a ball of energy, whose enthusiasm and general optimism is matched only by her desire to always try her best.

**Kei Chitose**- Sakura's best friend, Kei would much rather be shopping or flirting with boys ("healthy, _normal_, activities for teenage girls", as she often tells Sakura) than chasing her energetic companion on her quest to be the best fighter in the world. Kei also serves as an older sister figure for Sakura, selflessly taking care of her best friend. She finds Natsu's affection for Shoma to be utterly adorable, and attempts to play matchmaker via making it obvious to the world how Natsu feels. Naturally, this takes the form of good hearted ribbing, much to the chagrin of Natsu and ignorance of Shoma.

**Hinata Wakaba- **Hinata is a student attending Taiyo High School in Aoharu City, the same home town of her childhood friends Sakura and Natsu. Hinata has a somewhat peculiar fighting style, having been known to employ both her shoes and her backpack as a weapon.

**Natsu Ayuhara- **A volley ball player from Gorin High, Natsu has been invited along with Shoma, Kei, and Hinata by Sakura to attend a week long cruise that Sakura claims to have won in a competition she has no recollection of. Natsu is a dynamic fighter who uses attacks derived from her favorite sport, including the use of volley balls as projectile weapons. As of late, Natsu's feelings for Shoma have become stronger and more apparent, a fact which her friend Kei never ceases to remind her of.

**Shoma Sawamura-** Perhaps Shoma would be more excited to be on a weeklong cruise with a bunch of attractive girls if most of them weren't capable of savagely beating him should he cross the line. Don't get the wrong idea here, Shoma is a dangerous fighter who wields a baseball bat with the same skill that a Samurai wields a katana, but he is nonetheless slightly perturbed at the lack of male company on this trip. Regardless, who would turn down the chance for a cruise with four of his closest friends? Shoma attends Gorin High with Natsu, where he is an important player on the school baseball team. Shoma gives no indication that he is aware of Natsu's interest in him, regardless of Kei's constant mockery.


End file.
